How to be alone but not lonely

How to be alone but not lonely

Welcome back to another post! If you’re reading this thank you, I appreciate you.

I don’t know about you, but I love and enjoy being alone. I can go an entire day alone or not talking to anyone and I truly appreciate days like those where it’s just me, myself and I. It’s hard for me to understand when people tell me they can’t be alone or that they are scared of being alone. I guess for me it’s normal and it comes easy compared to other people. In today’s society it seems like you can never be alone, you always need to be on the go, hanging out with friends, updating your every move on social media and I guess because of that some people might have a hard time being alone.

We must understand that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I enjoy my alone time however, when I’m alone I don’t feel lonely and I think people often get confused. Being alone is something you choose, you need your space, you need time for you and feeling lonely is an emotion. Someone could be in a room full of people yet still feel lonely. There is a difference between being alone and lonely. People feel lonely when they don’t have a support system, friends or feel loved but there can be more to that. Someone can have a significant other, friends, a loving family and yet still feel alone.

There are two types of people, those who can be alone and enjoy it and those who can’t stand being alone and constantly need someone by their sides.  Which one are you?

I love being alone, I’m used to it and I’m comfortable being with myself. I enjoy being home alone cleaning blasting music, being one my phone, writing, and one of my favorites watching a show or movie. Not only am I comfortable being alone at home, but also outdoors. As much as I enjoy going shopping with friends I really enjoy shopping by myself taking my time and not feeling rushed by anyone. I enjoy grocery shopping on my own and I’ve even gone to the movies alone.  I go eat alone sometimes and I’m okay with that.

I like trying new things even if they scare me. I had never gone to the movies alone and I thought it would be weird, but when the time came I drove myself to the movies, alone. It was actually a nice experience I chose my seat and you don’t really need someone to go with you because you are surrounded by others and you can’t talk while the movie is playing so it doesn’t end up being that bad. There are a few things I want to do alone I just need to get the courage. For example, I would love to one day travel all by myself, go on a hike,  or go to the beach.

I guess being okay with being alone is something you build yourself up to and if you have never had to be alone then I understand why some might have a hard time with the idea. I’ve always been very independent, ever since I can remember. It might be because I’m the oldest child or I don’t like depending on people to do things for myself.

If you have read some one my previous blogs then you might of cached that I used to live in Santa Barbara. I really think moving out all on my own to a new city where I knew no body might of toughen up my skin. I had to get used to being alone and doing things alone which I ended up enjoying.

Some people get sad or depressed when they find themselves all alone and that’s okay you just need to learn to be alone. It’s okay to feel weird being alone or doing things alone, but it’s also important to know how to be alone with yourself.

Learning to be alone

1. Get to know yourself

This might sounds silly because we often think we know ourselves what we like, what we don’t like. However, until you learn to be alone with yourself you will really get to know who you are. We often get influenced by others that you might think you like something when in reality you don’t. Cater to you, do what you like, what makes you happy and if you’re not sure then take some time to reflect and ask yourself, what makes me genuinely happy? Do the things that you love, if there’s something you’ve been wanting to try or do then go for it. The best way to get to know you is by spending time with yourself.

2. Go on a date with yourself

They do say, “Your life begins at the end of your comfort zone” so get uncomfortable and go out with yourself and no one else. You need to spoil yourself and what best way then spending time with you. Take yourself out to lunch, dinner, a movie, go on a hike, a run, go shopping, go get a manicure, or go to a spa. Go out and celebrate how amazing you are!

3. Challenge yourself

We should always be challenging ourselves and not get too comfortable. One of the best ways to learn to be alone is by challenging yourself whether that be by taking a course for you to learn a new skill, pursing that degree, working out, doing something you’ve never done or you want to get better at. Take time for yourself to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but you never got around to because no one wanted to join you – learning a new language, yoga class, boxing, salsa dancing?

alone but not lonely

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

Don’t feel discourage to do something you’re dying to do or try just because no one wants to join you. Do it for yourself even if you have to do it alone and you won’t regret it. You need to love yourself above all and be completely fine with spending time with you.

 Being alone isn’t for everyone, but know that if you do find yourself doing things alone it’s perfectly fine and you aren’t the only one. If you’re scare to be alone give yourself some time and know that there is nothing wrong with being alone. Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. You spend time with family and friends and just how you spend time with other you should take some time for yourself and spend time with you, it’s self care.

how to be alone but not lonely

2 thoughts on “How to be alone but not lonely

  1. I definitely don’t mind being alone.
    I like hanging out with people too, but alone is my preferred setting…….. especially with a dog.
    Growing up with a family of 6, I am comfortable being with people, especially people I know.
    What I’m not good at is talking. I’m just not talkative at all. I am pretty sure, if I was alone all day, I probably wouldn’t say a word. LOL 🙂

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